Chapter 13

1Around then some people came and told Trump about the Galileans Pilate had killed, mixing their blood with their own sacrifices. Pilate. Bad guy. We'll hear more from Pilate.

2Trump answered, “Do you think those Galileans were worse than everybody else? No. Pilate's a bad guy. Very bad.

3So stay away from Pilate. That's the lesson. Very simple.

4And those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Bad construction. Not my tower. My towers don't fall. Ever.

5So hire a good builder. If you hire a bad builder, you'll all die too.”

6Then he told a story. “A guy had a fig tree in his vineyard. He went looking for figs on it. Nothing. Fig trees. I have a history with fig trees. Matthew has it. Mark has it.

7So he said to the guy who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree, and I haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it waste the soil?' Three years. No results. Fired. Totally fired.

8'Sir,' the man answered, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it.

9If it produces fruit next year, great! If not, then cut it down.'” Performance improvement plan. One year. Then fired. Fair. Very fair.

10One Sabbath, Trump's teaching in a synagogue,

11and there's a woman there who'd been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. Bent over. Couldn't stand up straight.

12Trump saw her and called her over. “Woman, you're free from your sickness.”

13He put his hands on her, and she straightened right up and started praising God. Perfect posture. Eighteen years and then perfect posture.

14The synagogue leader was furious, because Trump healed on the Sabbath. He tells the crowd, “There are six days for work. So come and get healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.” Bureaucrat. Office hours only. Come back Monday.

15Trump answered him, “You hypocrites! Doesn't every one of you untie your ox or donkey from the stall on the Sabbath and lead it out to give it water?

16Then shouldn't this woman, a daughter of Abraham, who Satan has kept tied up for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath from what was holding her?” Donkeys get more rights than people. With these guys. Unbelievable.

17That shut them up. All his opponents, humiliated. And the crowd loved every minute of it. Total humiliation. The crowd loved it.

18Then Trump asked, “What's the kingdom of God like? What can I compare it to?

19It's like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.” Small start. Huge finish. Like a small loan of a million dollars.

20Again he asked, “What can I compare the kingdom of God to?

21It's like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.” Spreads everywhere. Like a movement. Like MAGA.

22Then Trump went through town after town, village after village, teaching on the way to Jerusalem.

23Somebody asks him, “Sir, are only a few people going to be saved?” And he says,

24“Try hard to get in through the narrow door, because a lot of people, I'm telling you, are going to try to get in and won't be able to. Narrow door. Very exclusive. Like Mar-a-Lago membership.

25Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you'll stand outside knocking and begging, 'Sir, open the door for us.' But he'll answer, 'I don't know you or where you're from.' Never met him. Coffee boy.

26Then you'll say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.'

27But he'll answer, 'I don't know you or where you're from. Get away from me, all you evildoers!' Not on the list. Not getting in.

28There'll be crying and grinding of teeth there when you see Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. Watching through the window. The VIP party. Not invited.

29People will come from east and west and north and south, and they'll take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. From all over. All fifty states.

30And it's true, some who are last will be first, and some who are first will be last.” Big shake-up. The establishment goes last.

31Right then some Pharisees come up. “Get out of here and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.” Pharisees with a tip. Suspicious. Very suspicious.

32He answered, “Go tell that fox, 'I'm going to keep throwing out demons and healing people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I'll reach my goal.' That fox. Herod. Sly guy. Not as sly as me.

33In any case, I have to keep going today and tomorrow and the next day, because no prophet can die outside Jerusalem! Big city. Big stage. If it happens, it happens in the big city.

34Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you kill the prophets and stone the people sent to you! How many times I've wanted to gather your children together, like a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you didn't want it! Such a great city. Such terrible leadership. Like New York.

35Look, your house is left empty for you. I'm telling you, you won't see me again until you say, 'Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord.'” They'll say it. They'll be begging. You'll see.