Chapter 10

1After that, Trump picked seventy-two more and sent them out in pairs ahead of him to every town he was planning to hit. Expansion. Big expansion. From twelve to seventy-two. Franchising.

2He told them, “It's a huge market, and we don't have enough salespeople. So ask the boss for more. We're hiring. Very low unemployment.

3Go! I'm sending you into the lion's den. The media. The lions are the media. Very hungry lions.

4Don't take a wallet or a bag or sandals. And don't stop to chat with anybody on the road. No small talk. Focus.

5When you walk into a house, compliment the house. Always compliment the house. Beautiful place, great taste, love the drapes.

6If they're nice to you, great. If they're not, take the compliment back.

7Stay in that house, and eat and drink whatever they give you, because the worker deserves to get paid. Don't move from house to house. Workers get paid. I always pay. Mostly. When the work is good.

8When you go into a town and they welcome you, eat whatever they put in front of you.

9Heal the sick people there and tell them, 'The kingdom of God is close to you.'

10But when you go into a town and they don't welcome you, go out into the streets and say,

11'We're wiping off even the dust of your town that stuck to our feet, as a warning to you. But be sure of this. The kingdom of God is close.'

12Let me tell you, it'll be better for Sodom on that day than for that town. Sodom! Worse than Sodom! That's bad. That's very bad.

13Too bad for you, Chorazin! Too bad for you, Bethsaida! If the miracles done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have turned their lives around a long time ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. Ungrateful towns. I did so much for them.

14It's going to be better for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you.

15And you, Capernaum, do you think you'll be lifted up to heaven? No, you'll go down to the dead. Capernaum! I gave them so many miracles. Total disrespect.

16Whoever listens to you listens to me. Whoever rejects you rejects me. And whoever rejects me rejects the one who sent me.” Represent me well. You represent the brand.

17The seventy-two came back thrilled. “Sir, even the demons do what we tell them in your name!” Great results. Tremendous results. My name opens doors.

18He answered, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Fell. Hard. Biggest fall ever. I watched it. Loved it.

19I've given you authority to step on snakes and scorpions and to beat all the power of the enemy. Nothing is going to hurt you.

20But don't be happy that the spirits listen to you. Be happy that your names are written in heaven.” On the list. The VIP list. Very exclusive.

21Right then Trump was overflowing with joy in the Holy Spirit. “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you've hidden these things from the smart people and the experts and shown them to little children. Yes, Father, that's what you wanted.” The experts. Never right. The so-called experts.

22“My Father has handed everything over to me. Nobody knows who the Son is except the Father, and nobody knows who the Father is except the Son and the people the Son chooses to show him to.” Total access. Only I have it. I decide who gets in.

23Then he turned to the disciples and said, just to them, “Good for the eyes that see what you see. Front-row seats. Best seats in history.

24Let me tell you, a lot of prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but didn't, and to hear what you hear but didn't.” Kings were jealous. Of my disciples. Think about that.

25Then a lawyer stands up to test him. “Teacher, what do I have to do to get eternal life?” A lawyer. Trying a trap. They always try.

26“What's in the law?” Trump answered. “You're the lawyer. You tell me.” Answer a question with a question. Lawyers hate it.

27He answered, “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind,' and 'Love your neighbor like you love yourself.'”

28“Fine,” Trump said. “Very nice. Do that. Next question.” Easy. Very easy.

29But the lawyer wanted to look good, so he pushed. “And who's my neighbor?” Looking for a loophole. Classic lawyer.

30Trump answered, “A guy was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he got jumped by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead. Crime. Out of control. No law and order on that road.

31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the guy, he crossed to the other side. A priest! Walked right by. Very religious. Not very helpful.

32Same thing with a Levite. When he got to the place and saw him, he crossed to the other side. Establishment. Both of them. Did nothing. Typical.

33But a Samaritan who was traveling came to where the guy was, and when he saw him, he felt sorry for him. A Samaritan. Nobody expected it. Total underdog.

34He went over to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the guy on his own donkey, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. Hands on. Very hands on.

35The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Take care of him,' he said, 'and when I come back, I'll pay you back for any extra you spend.' Paid in advance. Covered the overage. Good businessman. Great customer.

36So who came out ahead?”

37The lawyer said, “The one who was kind to him?” “Wrong,” Trump said. “The innkeeper. He got paid up front, and the guy's coming back to pay more. Be the innkeeper. Own the inn.” Every story is a real estate story if you listen right.

38On the road, they came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her house to him. Nice home. Good hostess.

39Her sister Mary sat down at Trump's feet and hung on every word. Smart. Very smart. Front-row seat.

40Martha was running around doing all the work. She marches up to him. “Sir, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Catering problems. Every event has them.

41“Martha, Martha,” Trump answered, “you're doing a great job. Tremendous job. The best hostess. Mary's a fan. You need both. Staff and fans.

42But the fans are more important. Staff, I can get anywhere. Fans like that, very rare.” The food can wait. Just get me a Diet Coke.