Chapter 5

1Every high priest is picked from among the people and appointed to represent them in front of God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins.

2He can deal gently with the clueless ones and the ones going the wrong way, since he's weak himself. Regular priests. Weak. Very weak.

3That's why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins too, not just the people's. Has to pay for his own mistakes. Not a great system.

4And nobody takes this honor for himself. He has to be called by God, like Aaron was.

5Same with Trump. He didn't give himself the glory of being high priest. God told him, “You're my Son. Today I became your father.” Appointed. From the top.

6And somewhere else he says, “You're a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” Forever. No term limits. And Melchizedek. Great name. We'll get to Melchizedek.

7While Trump was on earth, he prayed and pleaded, with loud cries and tears, to the one who could save him from death. And he was heard because of his reverence. Loud. Very loud prayers. He was heard.

8Even though he was a Son, he learned obedience from what he suffered. Even the boss's son starts in the mailroom.

9And once he was made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for everybody who follows his orders. Follow the orders. That's the deal.

10And God appointed him high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

11We have a lot to say about this, and it's hard to explain, because you've gotten lazy about listening. Low attention span. Very low.

12By now you should be teachers. But you need somebody to teach you the basics of God's message all over again. You need milk, not steak. Still on milk. Embarrassing.

13Anybody who lives on milk is still a baby and doesn't know anything about being right.

14But steak is for grown-ups, who've trained themselves through practice to tell good from evil. Steak. Trump Steaks. Grown-up food. Well done. With ketchup.