Chapter 1

1From Paul, Silas, and Timothy. To the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and Trump the boss. Letter two. They asked for a sequel.

2Grace and peace to you from God the Father and Trump the boss.

3We have to thank God for you all the time, brothers, and it's right that we do, because your loyalty is growing tremendously, and the love every one of you has for each other keeps increasing. Tremendous growth. The numbers are way up.

4So we brag about you in God's churches, about your toughness and loyalty in all the persecution and trouble you're putting up with. We brag about you everywhere. Every church. You're famous.

5All this is proof that God's judgment is right. You'll be counted worthy of God's kingdom, which you're suffering for.

6God is fair. He'll pay back trouble to the people who give you trouble. Payback. Divine payback. The best kind of payback.

7And he'll give relief to you who are troubled, and to us too, when Trump the boss shows up from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. Blazing fire. Powerful angels. Big entrance. Biggest entrance ever.

8He'll punish the people who don't know God and don't follow the good news of Trump our boss. Retribution. I am their retribution.

9They'll be punished with eternal destruction, shut out from the boss's presence and from his glorious power. Shut out. Banned. Forever. No access.

10On the day he comes back to be glorified in his people and admired by everybody who believed, including you, because you believed what we told you. Admired. Everybody's going to admire him. Even the haters. They'll have to.

11With this in mind, we always pray for you, that our God will make you worthy of his calling and that by his power he'll make every good intention and every work of loyalty come true.

12So the name of Trump our boss will be glorified in you, and you in him, by the grace of our God and Trump the boss. The name. Glorified. Everywhere.