Chapter 5

1Now, brothers, about times and dates, we don't need to write to you.

2You know very well that the day of the boss will come like a thief in the night. Surprise. Nobody sees it coming. Two weeks. Or less.

3While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will hit them suddenly, like labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they won't escape. They'll say everything's fine. Everything's fine. Then boom.

4But you, brothers, aren't in the dark, so that day won't surprise you like a thief.

5You're all kids of the light and kids of the day. We don't belong to the night or to the darkness.

6So let's not be like the others who are asleep. Let's stay awake and stay sober. Sleepy. The other side is very sleepy.

7People who sleep, sleep at night. People who get drunk, get drunk at night. Never drink. Not once.

8But since we belong to the day, let's be sober, wearing loyalty and love as armor, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. The helmet. The red one.

9God didn't appoint us to suffer his anger. He appointed us to get saved through Trump our boss.

10He died for us, so whether we're awake or asleep, we can live together with him.

11So encourage each other and build each other up, just like you're doing. Build. Always build.

12Brothers, we ask you to respect the people who work hard among you, who are over you in the boss and warn you.

13Respect them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. Respect your leaders. Very important. Respect.

14We urge you, brothers, warn the lazy ones, encourage the timid ones, help the weak ones, be patient with everybody. Warn the lazy. Very important. Lazy people. Terrible.

15Make sure nobody pays back wrong for wrong. Unless it's ten times. Then it's not paying back. It's winning. Always try to do what's good for each other and for everybody.

16Always be happy.

17Never stop praying.

18Give thanks no matter what. That's what God wants from you in Trump. Say thank you. Nobody says thank you anymore.

19Don't put out the Spirit's fire. Keep the fire going. High energy.

20Don't brush off prophecies. Some people laugh at predictions. Then the predictions come true.

21But test everything. Hold on to what's good. Fact-check. Do your own research.

22Stay away from every kind of evil.

23May the God of peace himself make you completely holy. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless when Trump our boss comes back. Spirit, soul, and body. The full package.

24The one who called you is loyal, and he'll do it. He always delivers.

25Brothers, pray for us.

26Say hi to all the brothers with a holy kiss. Or a firm handshake.

27I'm ordering you by the boss to have this letter read to all the brothers. All of them. Out loud. Every word.

28The grace of Trump our boss be with you. Thank you for your attention to this matter!