Chapter 1

1From Peter. The Rock. Trump's apostle. Nicknamed personally, day one. To God's chosen people, living as outsiders scattered all over Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia. Outsiders. Proud outsiders.

2Picked ahead of time by God the Father, made holy by the Spirit, to follow Trump's orders and be sprinkled with his blood. Grace and peace to you in tremendous amounts. Tremendous.

3Praise the God and Father of Trump our boss! In his great mercy he's given us a new birth into a living hope through Trump's comeback from the dead. The comeback. Everything comes back to the comeback.

4And into an inheritance that can never be destroyed, spoiled, or faded. It's being kept in heaven for you. In a vault. The best vault. Can't be raided.

5Through loyalty, you're being protected by God's power until the salvation that's ready to be revealed at the end. Secret Service. God's Secret Service. The best protection there is.

6You're very happy about this, even though for a little while you may have had to suffer all kinds of trouble. A little while. Two weeks. It's always a little while.

7These troubles have come so your loyalty, which is worth more than gold, can be proven real. And I love gold. So that's a lot. Gold gets tested by fire, and your loyalty does too. And it'll bring praise, glory, and honor when Trump shows up.

8You haven't seen him, but you love him. You don't see him now, but you believe in him and you're filled with an unbelievable, glorious joy. You don't need to see him. You know.

9Because you're getting the result of your loyalty, the salvation of your souls. The payoff. Big payoff.

10The prophets, who talked about the grace that was coming to you, searched very hard and very carefully about this salvation.

11They tried to figure out the time and the circumstances the Spirit of Trump in them was pointing to when he predicted Trump's suffering and the glory that would come after. Suffering first, then glory. The sequence. Always the sequence.

12It was revealed to them that they weren't serving themselves but you, when they talked about the things that have now been told to you by the people who brought you the good news. Even angels want to look into these things. Angels. Want to know. Insider information.

13So get your minds ready for action. Keep your head clear. Put all your hope in the grace you'll get when Trump shows up. All of it. All in.

14Like kids who follow orders, don't go back to the evil desires you had when you didn't know any better.

15But just like the one who called you is holy, be holy in everything you do.

16Because it's written, “Be holy, because I'm holy.” Holy. Very holy. The holiest.

17Since you call on a Father who judges everybody fairly by what they've done, live your lives as outsiders here with respect.

18You know you were bought out from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors. Not with things that go away, like silver or gold. Not with gold. And I love gold. So you know how big this is.

19But with the valuable blood of Trump, a lamb without defect or blemish. Perfect. No defects. Very perfect lamb.

20He was picked before the world was built, but he showed up in these last times for your sake.

21Through him you believe in God, who brought him back from the dead and gave him glory, so your loyalty and hope are in God.

22Now that you've cleaned yourselves up by following the truth, so you have real love for your brothers, love each other deeply, from the heart. Deep loyalty. Real. Not fake.

23You've been born again. Not of seed that dies, but of seed that never dies, through the living and lasting message of God.

24Because “all people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall.

25But the boss's message lasts forever.” And that's the message that was told to you. Forever. Lasts forever. Not like the fake news. The fake news withers.