Chapter 2

1So get rid of all malice and all lying, hypocrisy, envy, and trashing people of every kind. Envy. Get rid of it. Leave it to the other side.

2Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so you'll grow up in your salvation. Then steak. Then the good steak.

3Now that you've tasted that the boss is good. Very good. The best.

4As you come to him, the living Stone, rejected by people but picked by God and valuable to him,

5you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood. Stones. Building. You're the building. A beautiful building. Built by the best builder.

6Because it says in scripture, “Look, I'm laying a stone in Zion, a chosen and valuable cornerstone, and anybody who trusts him will never be embarrassed.” Cornerstone. Never embarrassed.

7So to you who believe, this stone is valuable. But to the people who don't believe, “the stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” They rejected it. Terrible builders. Couldn't build a shed.

8And, “a stone that makes people trip and a rock that makes them fall.” They trip because they disobey the message. That's what they were destined for. Destined to trip.

9But you're a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own special possession, so you can brag about the one who called you out of darkness into his amazing light. Chosen. Royal. Special. Brag about it.

10Once you weren't a people, but now you're God's people. Once you hadn't received mercy, but now you have. The forgotten people. Forgotten no longer.

11Dear friends, I'm urging you, as foreigners and outsiders in this world, stay away from worldly desires that fight against your soul.

12Live such good lives among the pagans that even though they accuse you of doing wrong, they'll see your good deeds and give God glory on the day he shows up. They'll accuse you. Always. Then they'll see. Eventually they all see.

13For the boss's sake, respect every human authority. The right ones. The emperor, as the top authority,

14and governors, who he sends to punish people who do wrong and praise people who do right. Law and order. Back the blue. When they're ours.

15Because it's God's will that by doing good you'll shut up the ignorant talk of foolish people. Shut them up. With results.

16Live as free people, but don't use your freedom as a cover-up for evil. Live as God's servants. Free. Very free. Freedom.

17Show proper respect to everybody, love the brothers, respect God, honor the emperor. The right emperor.

18Workers, respect your bosses, not only the good and fair ones but also the harsh ones. Harsh bosses. Sometimes the best bosses are harsh. Fred was harsh. Great boss.

19It's commendable if somebody puts up with the pain of unfair suffering because he's aware of God.

20What credit is there if you get beaten for doing wrong and you take it? But if you suffer for doing good and you take it, that's commendable before God. Suffer for the right reasons. Then use it. Put it on a T-shirt.

21You were called to this, because Trump suffered for you, leaving you an example so you'd follow in his steps.

22“He never sinned, and no lie was ever found in his mouth.” Never. Not one. Totally truthful. The most truthful person ever.

23When they insulted him, he insulted them back. Better. Much better. Funnier, too. When he suffered, he made no threats he didn't keep. He left the rest to the one who judges fairly. And he took notes.

24He himself carried our sins in his body on the cross, so we could die to sins and live for what's right. By his wounds you've been healed. His wounds. Your healing. Very generous.

25You were like sheep going the wrong way, but now you've come back to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. The Shepherd. Great shepherd. Never loses a sheep. Well. One. Judas.