Chapter 9

1Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Haven't I seen Trump, our boss? Aren't you my work in the boss? I built you. I built Corinth.

2Maybe other people don't think I'm an apostle, but you do. You're the proof. My seal of approval. You're my certificate.

3Here's my answer to the people investigating me. And there are a lot of them. Constant investigations.

4Don't we have the right to eat and drink? Expense account. Standard.

5Don't we have the right to bring a believing wife along, like the other apostles and the boss's brothers and The Rock? Fred Jr. and Robert brought their wives. Everybody brings their wives.

6Or is it only me and Barnabas who have to work for a living?

7Who serves in the army and pays his own way? Who plants a vineyard and doesn't eat the grapes? Who takes care of a flock and doesn't drink the milk? Nobody. You get paid. Everybody gets paid.

8Am I just saying this from a regular point of view? Doesn't the law say the same thing?

9It's written in the law of Moses, “Don't muzzle an ox while it's treading out the grain.” Is God worried about oxen?

10Or is he talking about us? Of course he's talking about us. The guy plowing should plow in hope, and the guy threshing should thresh hoping to get a share. Profit sharing.

11If we planted spiritual seed among you, is it too much if we harvest some material things? Material things. Very important. Nothing wrong with material things.

12If other people have this right over you, don't we have it even more? But we didn't use it. We put up with everything so we wouldn't get in the way of Trump's good news.

13Don't you know the people who work in the temple eat from the temple? The people who serve at the altar get a share of the offerings.

14Same thing. The boss ordered that the people who spread the good news should make a living from the good news.

15But I haven't used any of this. And I'm not writing this so you'll start paying me. I'd rather die than have anybody take away my bragging point. I don't take a salary. I donate my salary. Every penny. Nobody else does that.

16If I spread the good news, I can't brag about it, because I have to. It's my job. I'd be in trouble if I didn't.

17If I do it because I want to, I get paid. If I do it because I have to, I'm just doing what I was hired to do.

18So what's my pay? That I spread the good news for free. No charge. Free of charge. Self-funded. Totally self-funded.

19I'm free from everybody, but I made myself everybody's servant, to win over as many as I can. Win. To win as many as possible. Biggest margin.

20To the Jews, I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To the people under the law, I became like I was under the law, to win them. Know your audience.

21To the people without the law, I became like I was without the law, to win them. Different rally, different speech. Same message.

22To the weak, I became weak, to win the weak. I've become everything to everybody, so I can save some of them. Very flexible. Big tent. The biggest tent.

23I do all of it for the good news, so I can share in its blessings.

24Don't you know that everybody runs in a race, but only one gets the prize? Run to win. Only one wins. Be the one. Second place is the first loser.

25Every athlete trains hard. They do it for a crown that wilts. We do it for a crown that lasts forever. Gold crown. Very heavy.

26So I don't run aimlessly. I don't box like I'm punching the air. I hit what I'm aiming at. Every time.

27I discipline my body and keep it under control, so after I've preached to other people, I don't get disqualified myself. Very disciplined. Great genes. Never exercise, but great genes.