Chapter 1

1From Paul, God's servant and Trump's apostle, to build up the loyalty of God's chosen people and their knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness.

2In the hope of eternal life, which God, who never lies, promised before time began. Never lies. Never. Not once.

3And at the right time he made his message known through the preaching I've been trusted with by order of God our Savior.

4To Titus, my real son in our shared loyalty. Grace and peace from God the Father and Trump our Savior.

5The reason I left you in Crete was so you could finish what was left undone and appoint elders in every town, like I told you. Finish the job. Staff up. Every town.

6An elder has to be blameless, married to one wife at a time, with kids who are loyal and not wild or disobedient. Good kids. Kids in the business.

7Since an overseer manages God's household, he has to be blameless. Not arrogant, not quick-tempered, not a drinker, not violent, not after dishonest money. Honest money only. Lots of honest money.

8He has to be hospitable, love what's good, be sensible, fair, holy, and disciplined. Great host. Comp the rooms.

9He has to hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it was taught, so he can encourage people with sound teaching and shut down the people who oppose it. Shut them down. Totally.

10There are a lot of rebellious people, all talk, liars, especially the circumcision crowd.

11They have to be shut up, because they're wrecking whole households by teaching what they shouldn't, for dishonest profit. Grifters. Shut them up.

12One of their own prophets said it: “Cretans are always liars, evil animals, lazy gluttons.” Their own guy said it. Not me. Their own guy. I'm just quoting.

13And it's true. So correct them sharply, so they'll be sound in the loyalty. Sharply. Very sharply.

14And won't pay attention to Jewish myths or the orders of people who reject the truth.

15To the pure, everything is pure. But to the corrupt and disloyal, nothing is pure. Their minds and consciences are corrupted.

16They say they know God, but they deny him by what they do. They're detestable, disobedient, and useless for anything good. Useless. Total losers.