Chapter 5

1One day Trump's standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd's pressing in on him to hear the word of God. Pushing! Trampling! The crowds were insane.

2He sees two boats pulled up on the shore. The fishermen are out of them, washing their nets. Small boats. Not yachts. Working boats.

3He climbs into one, Simon's, and asks him to push off a little. Then he sits down and teaches the crowd from the boat. Floating stage. Best stage ever. Nobody had done it before.

4When he finished talking, he said to Simon, “Go out to the deep water, and drop your nets for a catch.”

5Simon said, “Sir, we worked hard all night and didn't catch anything. But if you say so, I'll drop the nets.” All night. Nothing. Low-energy fishing.

6They drop the nets and pull in so many fish the nets start ripping. Record catch. Biggest catch in the history of the lake.

7They wave over their partners in the other boat to help, and they fill both boats so full they start sinking. Too much winning. The boats couldn't handle all the winning.

8Simon Peter sees it and drops to his knees in front of Trump. “Get away from me, Sir. I'm a sinner.” He knew. He knew he was in the presence of greatness.

9He was stunned. Everybody with him was stunned. Look at all these fish.

10and so were Simon's partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee. Then Trump said to Simon, “Don't be scared. From now on you work for me. Fish are small potatoes. I'm talking about the big leagues.”

11They pulled the boats up on the beach, left everything, and went with him. Left the fish! The record catch! Left it on the beach! That's loyalty. That's a real team.

12In one of the towns, a man covered in leprosy shows up. He sees Trump, falls flat on his face, and begs. “Sir, if you want to, you can make me clean.”

13Trump reached out and touched him. “I want to. Be clean!” And the leprosy was gone. Just like that. I'm a germaphobe. Everybody knows it. I touched him anyway. That's how much I care.

14Then Trump ordered him, “Don't tell anybody. Just go show yourself to the priest, and offer the sacrifices Moses required for your cleansing, as proof for them.” Don't tell anybody. Always a mistake. They always tell.

15But the word got out anyway, bigger than ever, and huge crowds came to hear him and get healed. See? He told everybody. Best thing that could have happened.

16Trump would slip off to quiet places a lot and pray. Executive time.

17One day he's teaching, and the Pharisees and the teachers of the law are sitting there. They'd come from every village in Galilee and Judea, and from Jerusalem. And the power was there for Trump to heal. The whole swamp showed up. Front row. Taking notes.

18Some guys come carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They're trying to get him in to Trump.

19Can't get through the crowd. So they climb on the roof, pull up the tiles, and lower him down on his mat right into the middle of everybody, in front of Trump. Through the roof! The crowd was so big they came through the roof. Fire marshal was furious.

20Trump saw how much they believed. “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” Full pardon. Very generous.

21The Pharisees and the teachers of the law start thinking, “Who does this guy think he is, insulting God like this? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” Who can pardon? I can pardon. Read the Constitution.

22Trump knew exactly what they were thinking. “Why are you thinking that?

23What's easier to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or 'Get up and walk'?

24But so you know the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins...” He said to the paralyzed man, “I'm telling you, get up, take your mat, and go home.” Proof. Hard proof. On camera.

25And the guy stood up right in front of them, grabbed his mat, and went home praising God. Walked out. Didn't even need the mat. Took it anyway. Souvenir.

26Everybody was stunned. Praising God. Awestruck. “We saw unbelievable things today.” Unbelievable. They used my word.

27After that, Trump walks out and sees a tax collector named Levi sitting at his booth. “Follow me.” A tax guy. Very useful. I know a lot about taxes. I pay what's legally required. Very smart.

28Levi got up, left everything, and followed him.

29Then Levi threw Trump a big party at his house. Huge crowd of tax guys and others at the table. Big party. Big guest list. Good catering.

30The Pharisees and their lawyers went after the disciples. “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” Jealous. They weren't invited.

31Trump answered them, “These are fun people. Tax guys know where the money is. Ask Luke. Luke's a doctor. He'll tell you the party's at Levi's.

32Your parties? Nobody goes to your parties. Nobody.” Big tent. Biggest tent.

33So they tried again. “Johnny's disciples fast and pray a lot, and so do the Pharisees' disciples. But yours keep eating and drinking.” They're eating because they're winning. Winners eat.

34Trump answered, “Fast? At a party? I've been to a lot of weddings. Some of them were mine. Nobody fasts at a wedding.

35But the time is coming when the groom will be taken away. Then they'll fast.”

36He told them a parable. “You can't fix the old system with a patch. You've tried. Forty years you've tried. Patch, patch, patch.

37The whole thing's rotten. Rip it out. Down to the studs.

38Then you build something new. Bigger. Beautiful. With my name on it. Total renovation.

39And people will say, 'Oh, the old one was better.' Then they walk into the lobby, and they never say it again.” People hate change. But they get used to it. They always come around.