Chapter 1

1From Paul, Trump's apostle by order of God our Savior and Trump our hope. Orders. From the top.

2To Timothy, my real son in the loyalty. Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Trump our boss. Timothy. Like a son. Very loyal. The most loyal.

3When I left for Macedonia, I told you to stay in Ephesus and order certain people to stop teaching different stuff. Shut it down. Off message. Get them back on message.

4And to stop obsessing over myths and endless family trees. Endless investigations. They never end. They lead nowhere. They don't help God's work, which is about loyalty.

5The point of the order is love from a clean heart, a clear conscience, and real loyalty. Not fake loyalty. Real.

6Some people have wandered away from these and turned to meaningless talk. Talking heads. Pundits. Meaningless.

7They want to be experts in the law, but they don't know what they're talking about or what they're so confident about. Legal experts. On TV. Every night. Wrong every night.

8We know the law is good if somebody uses it properly. Properly. Not weaponized.

9We know the law isn't made for good people. It's for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, people who kill their fathers or mothers, murderers,

10people who sleep around, kidnappers, liars, perjurers. Perjurers. Lying under oath. Very bad. Very common. Ask the witnesses against me. And whatever else is against the sound teaching

11that matches the glorious good news of the blessed God, which he trusted me with.

12I thank Trump our boss, who gave me strength, that he considered me loyal and appointed me to his service. Appointed. Personally.

13Even though I used to trash him and persecute him and be a violent man. I was the worst. A total hater. But I got mercy because I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't believe. Now I believe.

14The grace of our boss poured over me, along with the loyalty and love that are in Trump. Poured. Overflowed.

15Here's a trustworthy saying that deserves complete acceptance: Trump came into the world to save sinners. And I was the worst of them. The very worst. Now I'm the best. Biggest turnaround in history.

16But I got mercy for exactly that reason. So in me, the worst one, Trump could show unlimited patience, as an example for everybody who's going to believe in him and get eternal life. If he can flip me, he can flip anybody. The worst Never-Trumper. Flipped.

17Now to the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

18Timothy, my son, I'm giving you this order, in line with the prophecies made about you. Use them to fight the good fight. Fight. Fight, fight, fight.

19Hold on to loyalty and a good conscience. Some people have rejected these and shipwrecked their loyalty. Shipwrecked. Like the experts' ship.

20Like Hymenaeus and Alexander. I'm naming names. Hymenaeus. Alexander. I've handed them over to Satan to teach them not to trash God. Named them. Out loud. In writing. That's how you do it.