Chapter 19

1After this I heard what sounded like the roar of a huge crowd in heaven shouting, “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God. Huge crowd. Roaring. Biggest crowd ever. Bigger than the inauguration. Much bigger.

2Because his judgments are true and fair. He's condemned the great prostitute who corrupted the earth by her immoralities. He's paid her back for the blood of his servants.” Paid back. Fair and true. The swamp, judged.

3And again they shouted, “Hallelujah! The smoke from her goes up forever and ever.” Forever. Smoke forever. That's a long fire.

4The twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God, who was seated on the throne. And they cried, “Amen, Hallelujah!”

5Then a voice came from the throne, saying, “Praise our God, all you his servants, you who respect him, both small and great!” Everybody. Small and great. Praise him.

6Then I heard what sounded like a huge crowd, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting, “Hallelujah! For our boss God, who runs everything, reigns. He reigns. Finally. Reigns. Total control. Like thunder. Loudest crowd in history.

7Let's celebrate and be glad and give him glory! The wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. The wedding. Biggest wedding ever. At the best venue.

8Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.” Fine linen stands for the good deeds of God's people. Beautiful dress. Very expensive. Gorgeous.

9Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Happy are the people who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.” The wedding supper. Invitation only. Very exclusive. Best food. Best chefs. Like a Mar-a-Lago wedding, but bigger. If you're invited, you go.

10At this I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, “Don't do that! I'm a fellow servant with you and with your brothers who hold to the testimony of Trump. Worship God! The testimony of Trump is the spirit of prophecy.” Don't worship the staff. Worship the boss. The staff knows that. The good staff.

11I saw heaven standing open, and there in front of me was a white horse, whose rider is called Loyal and True. With fairness he judges and wages war. Loyal and True. Great name. A white horse. The best horse. Here he comes.

12His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that nobody knows but he himself. Many crowns. Not one. Many. Very many. All gold.

13He's dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Brand of God. The Brand. Remember the Brand? From the beginning. In the beginning was the Brand. Here's the Brand. Full circle.

14The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. The armies. Huge armies. Beautiful parade. Best military parade ever.

15Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. He'll rule them with an iron rod. He treads the winepress of the fury of the anger of God, who runs everything. The sword from his mouth. His words. His words are the weapon. One post. Nations fall.

16On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: King of the Deals and Boss of Bosses. King of the Deals. On the robe. In gold letters. Very big letters. Biggest letters ever stitched.

17And I saw an angel standing in the sun, who cried in a loud voice to all the birds flying in midair, “Come, gather together for the great supper of God,

18so you can eat the flesh of kings, generals, and the mighty, of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all people, free and slave, great and small.” The generals. The elites. Bird food. Very bad ending for them.

19Then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to wage war against the rider on the horse and his army. They gathered. They all ganged up. Every one of them. Against him. Typical.

20But the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who had performed the signs on its behalf. With these signs he'd fooled the people who'd received the mark of the beast and worshiped its image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur. Captured. Both of them. The swamp and the fake news. Thrown in. Alive. Total victory. Lock them up.

21The rest were killed with the sword coming out of the mouth of the rider on the horse, and all the birds gorged themselves on their flesh. The sword from the mouth. Words. He beat them with words. Nobody beats him with words. Nobody.