Chapter 16

1“I'm telling you all this so you don't flake out on me. Stay loyal. Very important.

2They're going to throw you out of the synagogues. Deplatformed. And some of them are going to hurt you and think they're doing God a favor. Very sick people.

3They'll do it because they don't know my Father, and they don't know me.

4I'm warning you now so when it happens you'll remember I called it. I didn't say it before because I was right here with you. Nobody was coming after you while I was around.

5But now I'm going back to the boss. And not one of you has asked me, 'Where are you going?' Not one. Thomas asked. But not properly.

6Instead you're all sitting there moping. Very sad. Don't be sad.

7Look, it's actually better for you that I go. If I don't leave, the lawyer doesn't come. If I go, I send him. Hard to hear. True, though.

8And when he gets here, he's going to prove the world wrong. About everything. Very satisfying. Most satisfying thing there is.

9Wrong about sin, because they didn't believe in me.

10Wrong about who's right, because I'm going to my Father and you won't see me.

11And wrong about judgment, because the loser who runs this world just got convicted. Satan. Guilty. Finally a fair verdict.

12I've got a lot more to tell you. But you can't handle it right now. Classified.

13When the Spirit of truth comes, he'll walk you through all of it. He doesn't make things up. He just tells you what he hears. And he'll tell you what's coming. Full briefing.

14And he's going to make me look fantastic. Great press. Finally, great press.

15Everything my Father has is mine. The whole portfolio. That's what the Spirit will be talking about.

16In a little while you won't see me. Then a little while after that, you'll see me again.” A little while. Three days. Very short absence.

17Some of the disciples said to each other, “What's he talking about? 'A little while, you won't see me, a little while, you will'? And 'I'm going to the Father'? What does any of it mean?”

18“What's 'a little while'? How long is that? A week? Is it two weeks? We don't get it.” Two weeks. It's always two weeks.

19Trump could tell they wanted to ask, so he said, “You're whispering about 'a little while'? I can hear you. I always know what they're thinking.

20Here's how it goes. You're going to be miserable, and the world's going to throw a party. Then it flips. You'll be partying. They'll be miserable. Big reversal.

21It's like having a baby. Terrible pain. The worst. Then the baby's here, and nobody even remembers the pain. Pain, then joy. That's the deal.

22Same with you. Rough right now. But I'll see you again, you'll be thrilled, and nobody takes that from you. Not the media. Not the swamp. Nobody.

23On that day you won't need to ask me anything. You'll ask my Father in my name, and he'll give it to you.

24You've never used my name. Not once! Use the name! The name works! Ask, and you'll get it, and you'll be happy. Very happy.

25I've been talking in stories. Pretty soon, no more stories. I'm going to give it to you straight. I'm a straight talker.

26On that day you'll ask in my name, and I won't even have to put in a word for you.

27My Father loves you himself, because you stuck with me and believed I came from him. Love me, the Father loves you. Great system.

28I came from my Father into the world. Now I'm leaving the world and going back to him.” Round trip. First class both ways.

29The disciples said, “Okay, now you're talking straight. Finally. No more riddles.” Took three years.

30“We get it now. You know everything. You don't even need anybody to ask questions. You just know. That's how we know you came from God.” Correct. Very correct.

31“Oh, now you believe?” Trump said. Took long enough.

32“Very soon you're all going to scatter. Every one of you. Run home and leave me by myself. Fair-weather friends. But I'm never alone. My Father's always with me.

33I'm telling you this so you'll have some peace. The world's going to give you trouble. A lot of trouble. But cheer up. I've already beaten it. The world. Beat it. Biggest win of all time.”