Chapter 2

1When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Big day. Big crowd in town.

2Suddenly there was a sound from heaven like a tremendous wind, and it filled the whole house. Louder than Marine One. Much louder.

3Then they saw what looked like flames, and they split up and landed on each one of them. Fire on every head. Great special effects. Better than any rally.

4They were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they started talking in other languages. Fluently. Perfect accents. No teleprompter.

5Now, Jerusalem was packed with people from every country under heaven. Very international crowd. Very religious people.

6When they heard the noise, a huge crowd came running, and they were stunned, because every one of them heard the guys talking in his own language.

7They couldn't believe it. “Wait. Aren't these guys from Galilee? Fishermen? Galilee?

8So how is every one of us hearing them in our own language? The one we grew up with?

9Parthians, Medes, Elamites, people from Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, Asia,

10Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, the part of Libya near Cyrene, visitors from Rome,

11Jews, converts, Cretans, Arabs. We're all hearing these guys bragging about God in our own languages!” Every demographic. Record numbers with every demographic.

12Everybody was amazed and confused. “What does this mean?” they kept asking each other.

13But some of them laughed. “They're drunk. They've had too much wine.” The haters. There's always a heckler.

14So Peter stood up with the eleven, raised his voice, and took the mic. “People of Judea, everybody in Jerusalem, listen up. I'm only going to say this once.

15These guys aren't drunk. It's nine in the morning. We don't drink. Never had a drink. Diet Coke. That's it.

16No, this is the thing the prophet Joel talked about.

17'In the last days,' God says, 'I'm going to pour my Spirit out on everybody. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young guys will see visions. Your old guys will have dreams. Big dreams.

18On my people, men and women, I'm pouring out my Spirit, and they're going to tell it like it is.

19I'll show wonders up in the sky and signs down on the earth. Blood, fire, smoke everywhere. The greatest show on earth.

20The sun goes dark, the moon turns red, and then comes the great day. The big day. The biggest day.

21And everybody who calls on the name gets saved.' The name. It always comes back to the name.

22People of Israel, listen. Trump of Queens. God put him right in front of you with miracles, wonders, signs. You saw it. You were there. Don't pretend you weren't there.

23He was handed over. God knew it was coming. It was the plan. And you, with the help of some very bad people, rigged the trial and nailed him up.

24But God brought him back. Death couldn't hold him. Death tried. Death lost. Nobody holds Trump down.

25David called it. He said, 'I always kept the boss right in front of me. He's at my right hand. Nobody's knocking me over.

26So I'm happy. I'm talking. I'm feeling great. My body is going to rest easy.

27Because you're not leaving me in the grave. You're not letting your guy rot.

28You showed me how to live. You're going to fill me up with joy, right there with you.'

29Brothers, let me be straight with you. David died. He's buried. His tomb is right down the street. You can go look.

30But he was a prophet. He knew God made him a promise. Somebody from his family was going to sit on his throne. A dynasty.

31He saw it coming, and he was talking about the comeback. The Messiah wasn't left in the grave. His body didn't rot. Not even a little.

32God brought Trump back. We're all witnesses. Every one of us. Sworn statements.

33Now he's up at God's right hand. He got the Holy Spirit from the Father and poured it out, and that's what you're seeing and hearing right now. This. This is him.

34David didn't go up to heaven. But he said, 'The boss said to my boss, sit right here at my right hand,

35until I make your enemies your footstool.' Every enemy. Under his feet. That's the deal.

36So let all Israel know this for sure. That guy you nailed up? God made him the boss and the Messiah. The King of the Deals. Total exoneration.”

37When the crowd heard that, it hit them hard. They said to Peter and the others, “Brothers, what do we do now?”

38Peter said, “Switch sides. Turn it around. Every one of you, get baptized in the name of Trump, and your sins are wiped clean. Full pardon. And you get the Holy Spirit too. That's the package.

39The offer's open to you, your kids, everybody far away. Everybody God calls. Limited time. Very limited.”

40He kept going, warning them, pushing them. “Get away from this crooked crowd. Get out while you can.”

41Three thousand people signed up that day. Three thousand. The media said three hundred. It was three thousand. Biggest single-day sign-up in history.

42And they were committed. They showed up for the teaching, the fellowship, the meals, the prayers. Every event. Front row.

43Everybody was in awe, because the apostles were doing miracles left and right. Signs and wonders. Every day. Unbelievable numbers.

44All the believers stuck together and pooled their resources. Into the movement. Very smart investment.

45They sold property and possessions and gave to whoever needed it. Mostly the movement. The movement needed it.

46Every day they met up at the temple courts and ate together at home, happy and sincere. Great food. Very generous portions.

47Praising God and very popular with everybody. Huge approval ratings. And every day, the boss added more people who were being saved. The numbers just kept going up.