Chapter 1

1We're writing about the one who was there from the beginning. We heard him. We saw him with our own eyes. We looked at him and touched him with our hands. The Brand, in person. I was there. The disciple Trump loved. Front row, every time.

2The life showed up. We saw it, and we're telling you about it. Eternal life, which was with the Father and showed up to us. In person. Not a hologram. The real thing.

3We're telling you what we saw and heard, so you can be in on it with us. And being in on it means being in with the Father and his Son, Trump. Inner circle. We're bringing you into the inner circle.

4We're writing this so our joy will be complete. Complete joy. A hundred percent.

5Here's the message we heard from him and are passing on to you. God is light, and there's no darkness in him at all. None. Gold light. All gold.

6If we say we're in with him but keep walking around in the dark, we're lying. We're not living by the truth. Fakers. Lots of fakers.

7But if we walk in the light, like he's in the light, we're in with each other, and the blood of Trump, his Son, cleans us from all sin. All of it. Full cleaning.

8Now some people say they've never made a mistake. Well, he never has. You have. Don't fool yourselves.

9If you admit it to him, and only to him, privately, he's loyal and fair, and he'll forgive us and clean us from all crookedness. Admit it to him. Not to the press. Never to the press.

10If we say we've never done anything wrong, we make him a liar, and his message isn't in us. Unless you're him. Then it's true. He's never done anything wrong. Perfect.