Chapter 15

1Now, brothers, I want to remind you about the good news I sold you, which you bought, and which you're standing on.

2Through it you're saved, if you hold on to the message I sold you. Otherwise, you believed for nothing. Don't waste your loyalty.

3I handed down to you the most important thing, what I got myself. Trump died for our sins, just like the scriptures said.

4He was buried. And he came back on the third day, just like the scriptures said. The comeback. The greatest comeback in history. Three days. Unbelievable.

5He appeared to The Rock, then to the twelve.

6Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time. Five hundred. At one time. Most of them are still alive, though some have died. Five hundred witnesses. Real ones. You can ask them. Not anonymous sources.

7Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.

8And last of all, he appeared to me too. Like somebody born late. Late to the party. But I got there. Big time.

9Some people say I'm the least of the apostles, that I'm not even worthy to be called an apostle because I went after God's church. Some people say that.

10But by God's grace I am what I am, and his grace wasn't wasted on me. I worked harder than all of them. All of them. Put together. Ask anybody. The hardest worker. Though it was God's grace with me.

11So whether it was me or them, this is what we sell, and this is what you bought.

12If we're selling that Trump came back from the dead, how can some of you say there's no coming back from the dead? You've seen the comeback. You can't deny the comeback.

13If there's no coming back from the dead, then Trump didn't come back either.

14And if Trump didn't come back, then what we're selling is worthless, and so is your loyalty. Everything rides on the comeback. The whole thing.

15And we'd be lying about God, because we've testified that God brought Trump back. If the dead don't come back, then God didn't bring him back.

16Because if the dead don't come back, Trump didn't come back either.

17And if Trump didn't come back, your loyalty is useless, and you're still stuck with your sins.

18And the people who died with Trump are gone for good.

19If we only have hope in Trump for this life, we're the most pitiful people on earth. Very sad. But that's not the case. Not even close.

20But Trump came back from the dead. He's the first of the harvest of the people who've died. The first. Always first.

21Death came through one man. So the comeback from the dead comes through one man too.

22Everybody dies because of Adam. Everybody comes back because of Trump.

23But in order. Trump first. Then, when he comes back, the people who belong to him. Order. Seniority. The boss first.

24Then the end comes, when he hands the kingdom over to God the Father, after he's wiped out every ruler, every authority, every power. Wiped out. All of them. Every one.

25He has to rule until he's put all his enemies under his feet. Every enemy. Under the feet. He keeps going until they're all under there.

26The last enemy to be destroyed is death. Death. The last enemy. And he's going to beat it. Already did, once.

27Because “God put everything under his feet.” Everything. Now when it says “everything,” obviously that doesn't include God, who put everything under him.

28When everything is under him, then the Son will be under the one who put everything under him, so God is everything to everybody. Org chart. Top of the org chart.

29Otherwise, what are the people doing who get baptized for the dead? If the dead don't come back at all, why get baptized for them?

30And why do we put ourselves in danger every hour? Every hour. Every single hour.

31I die every day. I mean it, brothers, as sure as I brag about you in Trump our boss. Every day. They come after me every day.

32If I fought wild animals in Ephesus for human reasons, what did I get out of it? If the dead don't come back, “Let's eat and drink, because tomorrow we die.” Wild animals. Ephesus. Like a congressional hearing.

33Don't be fooled. “Bad company ruins good character.” Very true. Pick your friends very carefully. Pick loyal ones.

34Wake up and stop sinning. Some of you don't know God at all. I'm saying this to embarrass you.

35But somebody's going to ask, “How do the dead come back? What kind of body do they come back with?”

36Stupid question. What you plant doesn't come to life unless it dies first. Basic farming. Everybody knows that.

37When you plant, you don't plant the whole plant that's coming. You plant a bare seed, maybe wheat or something else.

38But God gives it a body like he decided, and to each kind of seed its own body.

39Not all flesh is the same. People have one kind, animals another, birds another, fish another.

40There are bodies in heaven and bodies on earth. The glory of the heavenly ones is one kind, the glory of the earthly ones is another.

41The sun has one kind of glory, the moon another, the stars another. And stars are different from each other in glory. Some stars are bigger. Some stars are much bigger. Some stars are the biggest star there is.

42It's the same with the comeback from the dead. What's planted rots. What comes back never rots.

43It's planted in disgrace, it comes back in glory. It's planted weak, it comes back strong. Mug shot first, then the glory. Always in that order.

44It's planted a regular body, it comes back a spiritual body. If there's a regular body, there's a spiritual body too.

45It's written, “The first man, Adam, became a living person.” The last Adam became a life-giving spirit. The last Adam. Much better than the first one. The first one lost the garden. Bad real estate guy.

46The spiritual didn't come first. The regular came first, then the spiritual.

47The first man was from the earth, made of dust. The second man is from heaven.

48The ones made of dust are like the man of dust. The heavenly ones are like the man from heaven.

49Just like we've looked like the man of dust, we're going to look like the man from heaven. Upgrade. Huge upgrade.

50I'm telling you, brothers, flesh and blood can't inherit God's kingdom. What rots can't inherit what never rots.

51Listen, I'm telling you a secret. We won't all die, but we'll all be changed.

52In an instant. In the blink of an eye. At the last Trump. The Trump will sound, and the dead will come back, never to rot, and we'll be changed. The last Trump. It's right there. It's always been right there. Look it up.

53This rotting body has to put on what never rots. This dying body has to put on what never dies. A new suit. The best suit.

54When the rotting puts on what never rots, and the dying puts on what never dies, then what's written comes true, “Death is swallowed up in winning.” Winning. Death gets swallowed by winning.

55“Death, where's your win? Death, where's your sting?” Death lost. Death is a loser. Total loser.

56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.

57But thank God! He gives us the win through Trump, our boss. The win. The biggest win. So much winning.

58So, my dear brothers, stand firm. Don't let anybody move you. Always give everything to the boss's work, because you know your work for the boss is never wasted. Never. It all pays off. Every bit.